Looking for Love

For every person on a search for love, there are different motives or slightly altered iterations of the same motive. We want what we want, and sometimes, in the faith, we can want so badly that we decide what we want is what God wants for us. (read that slowly) I have been there. Voids in the soul seem (or are) all-consuming, and I attach a word or meaning: loneliness, emptiness, incompleteness, or I lack value or significance or identity because of this void. As a result, I have had to confront my expectations… that I put on God… to do what I wanted… and I was disappointed, angry on some levels, and grieving.

God is love (1 Jn. 4:8b).

Let that sink in. God = Love.

Now, consider all the possible substitutes we can make for God, in our search of love. Is it as simple as saying that our search for love is really a search for God? (insert a shoulder shrug here) Maybe.

The search can be exhausting for those of us whose souls are never satisfied with true unconditional and life-giving love. We may call our desired end love and it’s really something else: peace, joy, breaking even, faith (believing again) or wholeness. Beloved, all of these things are found in relationship with God.

By this we know love, that he laid down his life for us, and we ought to lay down our lives for the brothers.

1 John 3:16 ESv

We want love. We want someone to know us for who we really are, inside and out. We want someone to sacrifice for us, to demonstrate to us that we matter. We want to give back on that level. BUT… we cannot do it successfully without Jesus Christ. Look at 1 John 3:16.

THIS IS HOW WE KNOW LOVE… through the sacrifice and finished work of Jesus Christ. In the same way he laid down his life for us, we should lay down our lives for the saints. Love then, is a function of community… and faith… and yes, sacrifice. We cannot extend ourselves in true godly love until we receive it from the Father. How about we trade in our substitutes for the real thing? Yes? YES.

I want to challenge us to examine our search for love. What do we really want? Name it for what it is, and then bring it to the Father in prayer. Be honest. Submit the real motive behind your search. And then prepare to encounter real love. Selah.


Dr. Shaunta Scroggins is the founder of The Bereans’ Commentary.

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