Ma’am/Sir, the Duct Tape Isn’t Working
Here’s the thing about Godly relationships — they are LIFE giving.
In Him was life, and the life was the Light of men. The Light shines in the darkness, and the darkness did not comprehend it. ~ John 1:4-5 NASB
People enter our lives with greater and lesser lights, to either
- Expose and reveal our value, underestimated skills and talents, and gifts and ideas we need to cultivate, encourage and push us or they come to
- Receive our light — insight, wisdom, and the same kind of exposure and revelation
When Godly connections come into our lives, there’s always an exchange and LIFE is the result. Light enters our darkness. Truth confronts our error. It’s the bad teaching of our Western culture that says that getting along is the marker of good relationship; that and having similarities and appreciating differences.
Truth: A lot of relationship separations happen because one party refuses to be Light or shine Light…and no one gets the Life they need, God’s life flowing to each other.
It’s not that “everybody can’t go with you” business in this case. One of us chooses to keep the Light off in areas of our lives.
Godly connections feel the tension of kingdoms. They feel the battle between flesh and spirit. They thrive on each party’s commitment to God that compels them toward honesty and transparency, even if it means hurt feelings or misunderstandings.
Then one’s life starts bursting at the seams because he/she won’t release their control hold. Life is crying out for resolution, peace, and healing, yet they try to secure their life and hold it together with emotional, mental, and/or spiritual duct tape. They think they’re better off alone…and self-defeating games begin. Games like,
- I’m going to get them before they get me
- I’m going to go mute/silent (not participate)
- Passive aggression
- Hiding behind confusion
- Arrogance
- Condemnation
- Criticism
- Control and manipulation
- Overworking
- Perfectionism
- Being a Problem
- Starting a fight
- Procrastination
- Blame
- Lies
- Hide behind judgments
Frustration appears where there’s submission on one’s part to the humility of a Godly connection, and resistance or stubborn will on the other’s part.
One agrees to allow the help of a Godly connection, and receives the Light with kindness, gentleness, loyalty and love. But the other person retreats, nearly implodes, tries to cover and transfer their darkness. It doesn’t work… because friend, you’ve already help me into Light! And that duct tape isn’t working!
Just a thought. Love to all.
Images: duct tape 1, duct tape 2
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The Bereans' Commentary with Shaunta D. Scroggins, Ed.D. 
