The Danger of Delayed Grief

I remain impacted by a powerful Titus 2 (older woman to younger women) moment in a conference I attended several years ago. The presenter made history in her profession and shared wisdom and Word with us on complete grief.

5 stages of griefWe learned the five stages of grief, and that the general process of grief — of going through all the stages — is two years. At the time I sat in the first year of grief for a major loss. Do all grief processes require two years to complete? Not necessarily, she told us, but the point is to go through all the stages. Do not delay grief.

You know this time of night, midnight to 3am (aka the witching hour), never was my time for anything but sleep. Yet, spiritual activity and crucial prayer needs call me to duty for particular people. 

For many the stages of grief surface at inconvenient times. The loss suffered forced many to change commitments and repurpose energies for survival. Yet I wake to tell you while God’s grace troubles the water, that you must complete your grief. 

Stages you avoided or suppressed for fear of emotional outburst or response, or because you know how deeply you must go to process may overwhelm you in the coming days and weeks. Purpose and Kingdom need now officially outweigh your comfort and fear. The Lord needs you…stationed and in place…to work your assignments without weight. Liberty calls you into place, in Christ, in His love, to received conversion of soul and strength and heart…SO YOU CAN REALLY STRENGTHEN THE BRETHREN.

Remember ye not the former things, neither consider the things of old. ~ Isaiah 43:18 KJV

Behold, the former things are come to pass, and new things do I declare: before they spring forth I tell you of them. ~ Isaiah 42:9

Regret squats and takes over where there exists incomplete grief. Today the axe is laid to the root of this tree in your life. Regret and delayed grief are like life support to the dead weight in your life. Today the sword of the Lord cuts you away into your last phase of healing from this major loss because nothing good can come from it anymore. There’s no more good fruit to bear.

Even now the ax is laid at the root of the trees, and every tree that does not produce good fruit will be cut down and thrown into the fire. ~ Luke 3:9 NET

No more denial. Go through it.

No more anger. Get over it.

No more bargaining. Negotiations are over.

No more depression. Lift your hands and call on the Lord’s strength and love to lift you.

Accept it — what’s done is done. And you know what happens if you stay here or go back (if that’s even possible) — NOTHING HAPPENS because nothing’s been truly fruitful.

Break out. Break through. The sword of the Lord cuts away fear, its torment and all associated darkness. crownHis word enters your mind and heart and brings light and understanding…even where you get no closure, apology or explanation. Darkness cannot overpower light. (See John 1)

The danger of delayed grief is the potential loss of the secured future that is in your grasp. You risk forfeiture of the season you clawed to get to — joy unspeakable and full of glory, reward for faithfulness in suffering, strength of persevering in contentment through lack and need, solutions, strategies, and help to carry out the Kingdom tasks in your hand.

Do not let the “now” people suffer any more for your delayed grief. Get somewhere and cry it out, talk it out, pray it out, write it out, scream it out, and COMPLETE YOUR GRIEF. There’s one group waiting to run with your vision. And there’s another group waiting to hear your voice — that is, the spirit of the Father in you…sheep without a shepherd needing your healed heart to lead them.

And in truth, you have just a little more time to really make this shift into wholeness and healing. God gave you gifts (people) to assist and you’ve had them biding their time while they keep asking to help you. The window closes soon; please, complete your grief and move from surviving and existing to thriving. 

SELAH, and much love to all.

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Scot Loyd


Angel Jones

Educator - Advocate - Writer

Watchman Prophet

"In the darkness of night, I wait expectantly for understanding and knowledge for your people."

ladies loving god by Tonika Breeden

Rooted Grounded Fixed and Founded in the Love of God

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